Thursday, December 30, 2010

From Kanye to Sondheim

The past few months have been rather disenchanting when it comes to the field of endeavor that I'm pursuing at college. So I've been trying to rediscover what it was that made me want to study theatre, drama, acting, musical theatre, music composition, directing, and the crazy compilation of all the above. Before I explain these attempts at rediscovery, let me go a little further in detail as to why I've slowly become more and more frustrated with theatre arts and, sadly enough, the people involved.

I've met a lot of amazing people while at Tisch, Steinhardt, NYU, and New York in general. The extraordinary amount of talent that exists in these people is indescribable and I truly am grateful to know them. Some of the writers, directors, singers, designers, and actors that I've met really do have so many things to offer to the world. I guess my issues really involved some of the people I know who actively engage in the world of musical theatre, specifically.

The words "musical theatre" often imply the images of jazz hands, flaming homosexuals, and dancing cats. And yes, those things do in fact exist in musical theatre sometimes. But it can also function in ways that can lift a person up. Looking at musicals such as "Adding Machine", "Show Boat", and "Shuffling Along" demonstrate how musical theatre can truly marry the ideologies of entertainment and mental stimulation towards an ethically desired goal. And there were courageous actors and writers involved who made those productions possible. But why did they do it? Why do certain actors pursue musical theatre?
I don't know about back then, but nowadays it seems to be a near depressing conversation. I've sat in on hundreds of people auditioning for various musicals. Whenever I'm casting a show, or involved with casting a show, I get the past the fact that the person can sing a high note. But I want to know what kind of a person they are, and how they would be to work with. And I do this because I find more and more musical theatre actors wanting to be in musicals for mere self-gratification. And that self-gratification derives from the desire to belt the highest note and perform the fiercest dance combination. Don't get me wrong. Applause is great. We all love it, and everybody should be given the chance to receive applause when deserved (who knows when that is). But if applause is all that a person is aiming for, then is there any selfless aspect to that desire? 

I guess narcissism is the idea I'm shooting for. The goal to show off versus contribute proves to be extremely frustrating. I'm not an entirely innocent party. There are times when I'm playing a song and I add an unnecessary ostinato pattern to prove what my hands can do on a piano. But I'll ride the high horse and say I don't do that too often. At least I try not to. There is a community of musical theatre artists in Manhattan. And many of them are lovely beautiful people. And the majority of them seem to want to prove themselves as worthy of performing. 

I went to a new musical theatre writers workshop a couple months ago and there was a reception afterwards with cocktails and wine specials and whatnot. There also was an open mic stage with an accompanist ready to play any song from any musical, if you had your sheet music with you. While I was trying to talk to other writers and catch up with old friends, there were singers on stage wailing out songs that nobody was paying attention to. Ironically enough, the people who weren't paying attention to the folks on stage would later get onstage themselves and belt out their own tunes with the reciprocated disinterested response. 

Musical theatre writers are not totally off the hook either. Many up and coming writers I know are on a similar construct of writing to show off how witty and catchy they can be. However, what this produces is a lot of new works all sounding relatively similar. Instead of sounding like themselves, they are sounding like each other. And these are brilliant people! So why should they be writing material that isn't indicative of who they are as individuals? That's why my heroes are the composers who write like nobody else, because they're writing from the heart, not the insecurity.

Let me emphasize a very important point: this is a pure generalization that is NOT true for many, many writers and actors. All of this speculation is derived from certain people that I've been surrounded by in recent months. I have many wonderful collaborators as directors, actors, writers, designers, composers, etc... who do not possess these qualities. However, they seem to be rare finds. And THAT is what is so disheartening. If this is my chosen field of profession, I don't want to be surrounded by people that motivate me to deliberately avoid their praise. 

Theatre shouldn't be so selfish to the point where a spotlight and a standing ovation are the only sought after goals. It should be giving and welcoming to everyone and anyone who is willing to listen, watch, and experience. 
   
(music store in Stockholm with Nippe)

So... let's get to that other point. How have I been cheering myself up about this? Quite a few things actually. 

1. My piano. I've been writing a lot since I've come home. I love my baby grand piano so much. I love it when we have alone time (dirty, right?) I'm working on another show now, and the sounds we are producing together are incredible. And so much fun. Therapeutic. Clears the mind, and easily enough, the soul. 

2. Recent experiences with Stephen Sondheim. I've always known the man could write a good show. I know he's highly respected by, well, everyone involved with musical theater. But it wasn't until last April when I EXPERIENCED the value this man possesses. When I saw the production of "Anyone Can Whistle" at the City Center, my eyes were opened to a whole new concept of who this man is. Stephen Sondheim is smart, and people will call him courageous without any weight to the word. But my god, "Whistle" taught me what it meant to be a courageous writer. True courage means writing something that you fully believe in with all of your heart, putting it out there for the whole world to see, and risk the endless ridicule by those who disagree. And holy hell, that show received ridicule. But I saw what he was saying. During the song "Everybody Says Don't", emotion swelled within me and it proved to me that I can do miracles just by saying "Do" (my experience with this song would take a whole other blog post, so I'll just leave it alone for now). Another very recent experience was seeing "A Little Night Music". And I had a TRUE Sondheim experience. I knew nothing of the show before I saw it, everyone told me the show is brilliant (like most of his shows). But I didn't think that immediately when the show ended. It starred the most inspirational actor alive (at least for me) and by the end of the show, I felt slightly confused. It caught me off-guard. I didn't think right away about how perfect the show was, but rather thinking more along the lines of what the show was about. And it resonated within me for days. I couldn't get the damn production out of my mind with so many questions about life, love, romance, and the cost of falling in love. And only THEN did I say to myself, "Fuck, that's a great show!" And THAT sums up Stephen Sondheim's brilliance. Intelligence, heart, and courage. Lots of courage. He who dares to do something different and specific to him.
   Elaine Stritch and Bernadette Peters at curtain call<br>
for <i>A Little Night Music</i><br>
(© Tristan Fuge)
3. Surrounding myself with people who DON'T carry the above mentioned attitudes! They exist. And they're awesome. I can't wait to work with some of them next semester. I can't wait to work with some of them after graduation. They also make amazing friends. 

4. Lots of good books, tv, and movies! Just this week alone I've seen The Fighter, I Love You Phillip Morris, Black Swan, The Chronicles of Narnia (not great, but beautiful to watch), and tomorrow I'm seeing Tron in IMAX and The King's Speech. Movies can be so inspiring. 

5. Drives to the beach. They make anyone feel better. 

6. Overall, remembering that there are writers and actors who truly dare to do something different. Entertainment is great. Thought-provoking is delectable. Emotions are a wonder. And experience is irreplaceable. Melding them all together make for something perfect in its own extraordinary way. And there are so many people who want to make that happen. 

I know this blog post looks incredibly judgmental, and let's face it, it kind of is. But I don't mean to scorn people who want praise and recognition for their work. I mean, I definitely want praise and recognition for the work that I do. Fame and glory can be wonderful things. But they're also dangerous, because they can make us forget the other aspects that prove to be more pertinent. Every profession in the world has its community of narcissism. I'm learning that now. And more importantly, I'm learning how to avoid it and still do what I have set out to do since the beginning. It's more than possible. 

As I type this, my iTunes shuffle switched from Kanye to Sondheim. I'm going to take that as a good omen. 

Friday, December 24, 2010

Hello blog. It's been a while.

The past month has been an absolute whirlwind. From opening and closing a few shows, getting the flu, food poisoning, finals, papers, visiting the nieces in Maryland, and of course the finalizing of the "Reporting Live" album at Dubway Studios, it's hard to even know where to begin. But now I'm in sunny South Florida. 75 degree weather. A palm tree Christmas, and considering my parents are selling the house in a few months, I couldn't be more content to be in Florida. And the best part is that it ACTUALLY gets kind of cold at night! And I'm talking about weather in the low 50's, maybe even 40's! And for Florida, that's amazing.
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After a very strange semester, I'm able to pop in the CD for "Reporting Live" into my car, blast it as loud as possible while driving down the beach. It's not COMPLETELY finished, but it's 99% there. And 23 musicians and 16 singers have never sounded so awesome. I know it's all I've been blogging about (granted I've blogged about 3 times in the past 4 months), but it's literally been a project I've been focusing on since August. And it's finally done. Well, close enough for me to say it's done. When you're working in theatre, you seldom get a final product that you can hold onto after the show's over. This album is the first time I can hold onto a final product and never let it go, and that's just pretty cool.











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I just realized how many TV shows are on Netflix Instant View! I'm trying to decide between Dexter or Weeds. But I'm going to start one of them. Hopefully I'll get hooked, and with Michael C. Hall and Mary Louise Parker involved, that shouldn't be too hard.


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After seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One, I became inspired to finish the books. I stopped towards the beginning of Book 5. But because it's been so long since I've read the first four I decided to start from scratch. So this afternoon I picked up the Sorcerer's Stone. Already halfway done. I forgot how damn good these books are. Not to mention the theme park at Universal is a religious experience for all.


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So many random things in this blog post! It's because I never blog...
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Notice how they're all separated by random dotted lines?
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I've missed my baby grand piano! All I've been doing since I came home to Florida is playing Pegasus all day and night. I forgot how good he sounds. For those of you who don't know, I tend to name all the pianos/keyboards I come in contact with (or at least develop a serious relationship with, and this one is very serious). My keyboard in New York is Icarus. My baby grand is Pegasus. The terrible piano I had to play in the Shop theater was named Al. You get the idea. But Pegasus is my one and only. The house my parents are building in Maryland is amazing, and do you know why? Because Pegasus might be getting his own room... So much damage to be done.
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So many movies to see over the course of the next few weeks. True Grit, The King's Speech, I Love You Phillip Morris, Tron, Narnia, Blue Valentine, Rabbit Hole, The Fighter, The Tempest, Casino Jack, Somewhere, Another Year, Biutiful, etc... The list goes on. I just saw Black Swan yesterday. Completely took my breath away. As absurd it was, it still got my heart racing and Natalie Portman gave a performance that I feel like I've never seen before from any actor. Let this be the beginning of a good run of new movies. (PS - I still plan on seeing Burlesque without paying for the ticket.)
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A lot of goals to meet over the next few weeks in Florida. I encourage all to come down for a visit. Who knows? Maybe a trip to Miami or Orlando could happen. God knows I'll be heading to both at some point.

Merry Christmas everybody! There's so much to be happy about in this crazy world we live in. So let's be happy.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Don't Ask Don't Tell

As I type this, I am watching the hearings regarding "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and it truly is fascinating to watch how these court hearings are handled and conducted.

In most controversial topics I find a sympathy and understanding for both sides, however for this particular issue I simply cannot wrap my brain around the reasonings for keeping the legislation intact.

If you're at all interested, here's the link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/40470615#40470615

This truly feels like one of the most backward laws in our nations federal legislate. And it's endlessly intriguing to see how an issue (which is not entirely black and white, but one of the most 'black-and-white' cases I've ever seen) is presented in a politically correct manner.

Just too interesting.